Iron Monkey

(1993, HK, Film Workshop/Golden Harvest)

Dir. Yuen Woo-ping; Pro. Tsui Hark; Scr. Elsa Tang Pik-yin, Tsui Hark; Action Dir. Yuen Cheung-yan, Sunny Yuen Shun-yi, Yuen Woo-ping; Cast Yu Rong-guang, Donnie Yen Chi-tan, Jean Wong Ching-ying, Tsang Sze-man, Sunny Yuen Shun-yi, Yen Shi-kwan, James Wong Jim.

86 min.

Celebrated kung fu yarn set during the later Ching years and charting the adventures of a Robin Hood style superhero named Iron Monkey (Yu Rong-guang), whose concept of helping the poor by stealing from the rich doesn’t bode too well with the corrupt authorities who name Iron Monkey as China’s most wanted criminal.

Behind the masked vigilante’s disguise is Dr. Yang, a highly respected herbal doctor whose latest patient is a preteen Wong Fei-hung (played by a young girl, Tsang Sze-man). Fei-hung is the latest victim of a cruel governmental attack which sends his father, Wong Kei-ying (Donnie Yen), on a mission to uncover the true identity of the notorious Iron Monkey.

Tsui Hark’s frenetic approach matches Woo-ping’s style of camerawork and choreography, who links together a series of highly charged wire-fu sequences performed by the best in the industry. Great examples include a zany showdown with the movie’s real enemy – an unstable Manchu leader (Yuen Shi-kwan) – whose extendable sleeves and crippling King Kong Fists are met with the might of the elder Wong and Iron Monkey in a final kick-fest beset by burning poles and soaring embers. And if this sounds incredibly lighthearted, that’s because it is.

AKA: Iron Monkey: The Young Wong Fei-hung

The Shepherd: Border Patrol

(2008, US, Sony Pictures/Stage 6 Films)

Dir. Isaac Florentine; Pro. Moshe Diamant, Gilbert Dumontet; Scr. Joe Gayton, Cade Courtley; Action Dir. J.J. Perry; Cast Jean-Claude Van Damme, Stephen Lord, Natalie J. Robb, Gary McDonald, Daniel Perrone.

95 min.

Now here’s a pretty terrible title for a Van Damme film. He stalks this one with the resigned look of a guy who has already made this movie a dozen times before. The cheap, straight to video feel makes it seem like the filmmakers haven’t watched a film for at least 15 years. Luckily Van Damme made JCVD after this, causing a career renaissance which would have seemed all but impossible at this stage in his career.

He plays a despondent New Orleans cop who joins the New Mexico border patrol to take on the drug cartels, with a ball-busting sergeant and a pet rabbit for company. The main culprits are a disillusioned troop of army-trained US mercenaries who use their Afghan contacts to control the shipment of heroin into the country. They’re bomb nuts and have experience dealing with jihadists, but you’ll find more political clout on a cereal box than you will here.

Undisputed II director Florentine sparks life into the fight scenes with great attention to stunt work and flashy kicks, particularly from Scott Adkins, whose anticipated fight with Van Damme at the end is the only excitement in a rather tired final act.

Shaolin Wooden Men

(1976, HK, Lo Wei Motion Picture Co.)

Dir. Chen Chi-hwa; Pro. Lo Wei; Scr. Gam Yam; Action Dir. Jackie Chan, Tommy Lee Chin-ming; Cast Jackie Chan, Kam Kong, Doris Lung Chung-erh, Chiang Kam, Yuen Biao.

97 min.

Jackie Chan sited this one – his second collaboration with movie mogul Lo Wei – as his first “dream project”, in that he was to have some say in the film’s production. But Lo Wei still does Chan a disservice by casting him as a mute, nicknamed ‘Dummy’, who struggles as the new Shaolin recruit until he receives martial arts training from a nifty levitating nun and a crazy long-haired convict imprisoned deep within the temple vaults. Our mute hero’s longing to avenge his father’s death adds an extra dimension to the story, but he must first tackle the wooden dummies guarding the Shaolin exit. The action is gripping and Chan’s charisma still shines through despite his silent character. But the end result isn’t quite the “dream project” Chan was looking for.

AKA: Shaolin Chamber of Death; 36 Wooden Men; Wooden Men; Young Tiger’s Revenge

Ip Man

(2008, HK, Beijing ShengShi HuaRui Film Investment & Management Co./China Film/Mandarin Films/New Film Studio of Beijing Starlight International/Shanghai Film Group)

Dir. Wilson Yip Wai-shun; Pro. Raymond Wong Bak-ming; Scr. Edmond Wong Chi-mun; Action Dir. Sammo Hung Kam-bo, Tony Leung Siu-hung; Cast Donnie Yen Chi-tan, Simon Yam Tat-wah, Fan Siu-wong, Gordon Lam Ka-tung, Xing Yu, Hiroyuki Ikeuchi, Wong You-nam.

106 min.

To describe Wilson Yip’s glossy take on the formative years of Wing Chun master Ip Man as a biopic is being somewhat economical with the truth. The same misnomer could apply to other vaguely biographical sensationalist potboilers like Fighter in the Wind and Fearless. Yip’s passionate and patriotic drama closely resembles a companion piece for the latter, focussing on the second Sino-Japanese war and the subsequent hostilities facing the Chinese living in invaded Foshan. It even champions an outwardly familiar anti-Japanese sentiment, something Chinese filmmakers have been flogging since, well, the war.

The role of Foshan is also symbolic, being the prosperous holy land for China’s most revered martial arts superheroes – the most famous being Wong Fei-hung. Obviously Ip Man’s backstory was nowhere near as colourful as depicted here (he wasn‘t even living in Foshan during the war). Wilson Yip abandons fact in favour of cicumstance to promote the Wing Chun master as China’s next martial messiah. It is perhaps telling that Ip Man’s grandson, Ip Chun, acts as consultant for the film.

In reality, Ip Man is most famous for being Bruce Lee’s martial arts instructor. If you know a bit about your modern day kung fu history, you may also be aware of Ip Man being the first person to teach the general public about the closely guarded secret discipline of wing chun – a quick, close combat kung fu system.

When we first meet Ip Man (played by Donnie Yen in his most comfortable setting), he is living as a peaceful family man, testing his skills with other sifus on Dojo Street but refusing to pass his secrets onto others. When the Japanese invade in 1937, Foshan is thrown into chaos and its residents, including Ip Man, are forced into slums. With depleting rations and insufficient medical care, the locals face the poisonous dilemma of either fighting back, aiding the Japanese war effort or, worse still, fighting among themselves.

In one scene, a hotheaded northern kung fu rebel steals Chinese cotton supplies in an attempt to sell them back to their southern Chinese owners. It is this act which motivates Ip Man to teach his fellow natives the secrets of wing chun in an attempt to free his people from their brutal, slave-like conditions.

The film builds into an unfortunately predictable showdown of nationalistic intent where Ip Man is pitted in a bare knuckle brawl with the head of the Japanese army, a karate expert, who tastefully shows a deep respect for the martial arts and its honourable traditions, far unlike the snarling cartoon villainy of his subordinates.

At the heart of the film is a keen admiration for not just Chinese martial arts but the masters who practice them. Sammo Hung’s faultless choreography steals the screen at every opportunity. For Hung, who has already made films detailing the founding fathers of Wing Chun (Warriors Two, The Prodigal Son), Ip Man is the next logical step in charting the system’s distinguished lineage. And Donnie Yen makes the role his own.

AKA: Yip Man

The Five Venoms

(1978, HK, Shaw Brothers)

Dir. Chang Cheh; Pro. Mona Fong Yat-wa; Scr. Chang Cheh, Ni Kuang; Action Dir. Lu Feng, Liang Ting, Robert Tai Chi-hsien; Cast Chiang Sheng, Sun Chien, Phillip Kwok Tsui, Lo Meng, Lu Feng, Wei Pei, Johnny Wang Lung-wei.

97 min.

Chang Cheh’s seminal work caused a stir when it was first broadcast on late night TV in America. Hooking into a mass youth appeal, the film spawned merchandise, cartoons, rip offs and follow ups, thus becoming possibly the most widely seen Shaw Brothers movie in the studio’s history.

Frankly, the film is quite kitsch and campy, and far from Chang’s best work. Yet The Five Venoms relishes every second of its distinct quirkiness, and although slightly too abstract for any sort of mainstream appeal, the film’s standing as a cult favourite and kung fu movie classic is for the most part well deserved.

Credited for launching numerous careers (Wang Yu, David Chiang, Ti Lung, Fu Sheng), Chang Cheh presents us with a new breed of kung fu stars – his third generation of stalwarts now known collectively as the ‘Venoms’. It’s a great cast, and the onscreen chemistry is charming, even if loveable beggar Chiang Sheng is given an elevated role as the film’s main protagonist.

As a dying wish from his old sifu, he has to disband the deadly Poison Clan before their venomous, greedy ways inflict more harm on both the people and the state. The Toad, the Lizard, the Snake, the Centipede and the Gecko are all masters of their own bizarre styles, but none of the Venoms know each other and Chiang hasn’t got a clue either. He pledges allegiance with iron man Toad (Lo Meng) and good cop Lizard (Phillip Kwok) in order to hunt for the rest, and their treasure grabbing antics soon give themselves away.

The Five Venoms also established Chang Cheh’s new take on the kung fu genre, altering his style from sweeping historical epics to garish, colour saturated yarns with more gimmicks and an even greater emphasis on brooding, redblooded males (there’s not a single female in the cast).

The actors would continue to prosper in other Venom related efforts, but this is the original and still the quintessential late night favourite.

AKA: Five Deadly Venoms

In Hell

(2003, US, Millennium Films/Nu Image/777 Film Corp.)

Dir. Ringo Lam Ling-tung; Pro. Danny Lerner, John Thompson, David Varod; Scr. Eric James Virgets, Jorge Alvarez; Cast Jean-Claude Van Damme, Lawrence Taylor, Marnie Alton, Malakai Davidson, Billy Rieck.

98 min.

If cinematic history was anything to go by then they would have you believe not much has changed in the prison system for about 50 years. All the usual suspects are still there: the long serving wise sage, the boy who deserved better, the gang warfare, the relentless buggery and long hot summers spent digging up railroads (do they still do that?).

This is a cliché ridden slug fest, closer to Death Warrant than The Shawshank Redemption in prison movie hierarchy, and not as savagely articulate as Ringo Lam’s Prison on Fire films. That said, there is a similarly bleak and sinister tone to this fight film with great visuals and stark lighting to boot, and it is far more intense than your average Van Damme yarn (in one scene he tries to hang himself, a far cry from the naivety of his earlier films).

As for the story, there is not a great deal to go on. Van Damme is no angel, acting rather impulsively after his wife is raped and murdered and the culprit is declared innocent. So he kills the guy right back when he is still in the courtroom.

He does the crime, now comes the time; incarcerated in a horrible Russian prison where the guards don’t play fair, staging bare knuckle brawls and reaping the rewards. Van Damme does his usual butch/sensitive routine which appears to be working better with age in a movie that’s not half as bad as you might expect.

AKA: The Savage; The Shu

Street Fighter

(1994, US, Capcom Entertainment)

Dir. Steven E. de Souza; Pro. Edward R. Pressman, Kenzo Tsujimoto; Scr. Steven E. de Souza; Action Dir. Benny Urquidez; Cast Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Ming-Na, Damian Chapa, Kylie Minogue, Simon Callow.

102 min.

This bombed horribly when it came out, treading a similar path to other video game based flops like Super Mario Bros. and Mortal Kombat. Big money backed a very poor script, something that Van Damme struggles with at the best of times, while the cartoon-like fight sequences and exaggerated caricatures make it feel more like a Power Rangers film than a decent sci-fi actioner. But enough of what could have been. Here is what we are actually dealing with: a trite story, really, as psychotic General Bison (Raul Julia, in his last film role) attempts to build his Bisonopolis with a twenty billion dollar ransom from a stash of kidnapped civilians. Van Damme plays ‘all-American’ Colonel Guile complete with crass camouflage gear, determined to rescue his best friend and kick Bison into touch. But Bison has a deadly trick up his sleeves, literally: an electromagnetic charge which releases a killer bolt of lightening direct from his fingertips. Chances are you may have lost patience with the film long before this point, but if not, you certainly will when Bison starts flying about the place. It is an embarassment shared not only with the viewer but for everyone involved in such a silly production.

Death Warrant

(1990, US, Pathé Pictures)

Dir. Deran Sarafian; Pro. Mark DiSalle; Scr. David S. Goyer; Cast Jean-Claude Van Damme, Robert Guillaume, Cynthia Gibb, George Dickerson, Art LaFleur, Patrick Kilpatrick.

93 min.

Van Damme plays a maverick cop sent undercover to suss out a deadly mystery occurring at the Harrison Penitentiary, where two-bit stereotypes are dropping like flies with ice picks shoved in their skulls. It’s not a particularly pleasant place, but if there is anyone who can sort the men from the boys then it’s prancing ballet dancer Jean-Claude Van Damme, who quickly sets to work beating up the inmates in his own jumping, kicking style. This action film is watchable enough but still can’t escape that made for TV feel despite the gross out violence, and Van Damme isn’t too bad, left slightly wanting in places but nevertheless aptly equipped for this sort of nonsense.

Kung Fu Panda

(2008, US, DreamWorks Animation)

Dir. Mark Osborne, John Stevenson; Pro. Melissa Cobb; Scr. Jonathan Aibel, Glenn Berger; Cast (voices) Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Ian McShane, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogan, Lucy Liu.

92 min.

“Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.” And so begins DreamWorks’ kung fu movie homage, set in an animated version of turn of the century China, with residents replaced with talking pigs and bunny rabbits.

Po is a panda – overweight, downtrodden and directionless, yet hopelessly optimistic and passionate about the martial arts. He daydreams about leaving his ostrich father’s noodle shop and meeting the Furious Five – a group of highly trained fighters encompassing all five of the Chinese animal styles: mantis, tiger, monkey, crane and snake.

During an attempt to catch a glimpse of his heroes, Po is announced as the next Dragon Warrior, responsible for catching notorious super villain Tai Lung (a snow leopard). Shifu (Hoffman as a squirrel) has to train Po using the only technique that motivates him: food.

In a hilarious scene, Shifu and Po wrestle over the last dumpling using chopsticks as weapons and rice bowls as shields. He soon gathers enough skill to satisfy his Furious Five contemporaries and face the scary Tai Lung in one final, ultimate showdown.

Where this fast-paced family film really scores geek points is by adapting clichéd kung fu film traits for a new and younger audience. It is testament to the chopsocky genre that everyone can recognise and enjoy the same in-jokes; the script may be sassy and sharp, but the attention to detail (in genre terms) is spotless. Like the slapstick scenes straight from Jackie Chan’s late seventies output, and the Furious Five and Shaolin elements which are direct references to the Shaw Brothers.

But most of all it is tremendous fun. Hardly original, but perfect in so many ways.