Category Archives: Reviews

On Deadly Ground

(1994, US, Warner Bros.)

Dir. Steven Seagal; Pro. A. Kitman Ho, Julius R. Nasso, Steven Seagal; Scr. Ed Horowitz, Robin U. Russin; Cast Steven Seagal, Michael Caine, Joan Chen, John C. McGinley, R. Lee Ermey, Shari Shattuck, Billy Bob Thornton.

101 min.

A studio sanctioned thought-piece from Steven Seagal (surely an oxymoron if ever there was one?) which pushes his politics more than his muscle, producing a head-scratching environmentally-conscious takedown of Big Oil and their exploitation of indigenous communities and the environment. The message is about as subtle as one of Seagal’s trademark aikido chops, but nonetheless a remarkably bold statement for a huge studio like Warner Brothers to endorse, who openly throw their dollars behind the chef from Under Siege with the ponytail to work as director, producer, star and chief activist.

That’s one argument. Another would be this is confused sanctimonious twaddle, and questions should probably be raised as to whether Seagal is best fit to act as spokesperson for the environment’s cause. For starters, in championing the voice of polite political discourse and spiritual wisdom as a means of combating conglomerates, he somewhat undermines his own argument the second he starts breaking skulls and unleashing rounds from a 10 gauge shotgun. And surely strapping bombs to an established oil refinery (like during the final act) carries its own environmental concerns, not to mention a huge loss of innocent life?

As Forrest Taft, Seagal starts the film as a mystical damage control specialist for an oil corporation run like a mafia syndicate, who act as something of a metaphor for western white imperialism. They are run by Michael Caine playing a shouty, unpleasant, hypocritical tycoon who says lines like, “To hell with those goddamn Eskimos,” when the tribal council in Alaska oppose the opening of a new oil refinery.

But Taft has the best lines. In one scene, he sends a barroom bully into an existential tailspin when he asks, “What does it take to change the essence of a man?”, just before landing a few extra punches to his head for good measure. When workers uncover the company’s use of faulty technology as the cause of a recent spill, Caine goes into crisis mode and his cronies start bumping off the staff. This includes an attempt on Taft who narrowly escapes another explosion before being nursed back to health by Joan Chen and her native Inuit tribe of earthy spiritualists. Taft then undergoes a curious hallucinogenic montage where he imagines killing a bear – which is certainly strange –  but his enlightenment is quickly disregarded in favour of Rambo on horseback, as Seagal and Chen are pursued through the Alaskan wilderness by Caine’s hired goons. The film ends on a lecture featuring plankton stats.

As an action film there are moments of excitement but this far from Under Siege, and as a director Seagal seems more concerned about winning a Nobel Peace Prize than an Oscar. Which may explain why he hasn’t been allowed to direct a film since.

Sudden Death

(1995, US, Universal Pictures)

Dir. Peter Hyams; Pro. Howard Baldwin, Moshe Diamant; Scr. Gene Quintano; Cast Jean-Claude Van Damme, Powers Boothe, Raymond J. Barry, Whittni Wright, Ross Malinger.

111 min.

Timecop director Peter Hyams tackles a second big budget Van Damme vehicle with a similarly light touch, setting Die Hard at an ice hockey stadium and putting the action star through his paces as an indestructible firefighter. A secret service nutjob (Boothe, channeling Alan Rickman) and his team of terrorists hijack the Stanley Cup final, strapping bombs to the building and holding the vice president and his entourage hostage. Van Damme’s a divorced fire warden with tickets to the big game, taking his kids along only for his daughter to be nabbed by the crooks. Van Damme goes rogue and before too long he’s diffusing bombs and manufacturing crude homemade weapons with stuff he finds lying about the place. There are quite a few really silly moments (particularly at the end when the film loses its mind), but by far the silliest moment is the fight with a giant penguin mascot.

Under Siege

(1992, France/US, Canal+/Warner Bros.)

Dir. Andrew Davis; Pro. Arnon Milchan, Steven Reuther, Steven Seagal; Scr. J.F. Lawton; Action Dir. Steven Seagal; Cast Steven Seagal, Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey, Erika Eleniak, Patrick O’Neal, Damian Chapa, Troy Evans.

102 min.

Seagal’s most popular film is a stocky, ham fisted, cliché ridden macho fest of the highest order, and probably the pinnacle of his bone-busting career, which speaks volumes. As great action movies go, this is up there with your Commando‘s and your Die Hard‘s, but that may be because this is essentially just Die Hard on a boat.

Not just any boat, mind. We’re on board the iconic USS Missouri battleship, location for the Japanese surrender which ultimately ended the Second World War. On its final voyage, the entertainment – a country band led by Tommy Lee Jones on full lunatic mode – whip out heavy rounds of artillery and shoot their way into the control room, holding the crew hostage and locking the ship’s missiles onto Honolulu, for some reason.

But they don’t bank on the ship’s chef – ex-Navy SEAL Casey Ryback (Seagal, complete with trademark ponytail). Demoted due to his renegade antics (“Sometimes you gotta question authority”), he can still manufacture highly dangerous explosives from little more than a condom and some string.

Ryback is considered a threat by the terrorists and chucked into a fridge, only for him to fight his way out and stay incognito long enough to free a rabble of plucky hostages and sort them into a crack team of resistance fighters. This includes a buxom stripper (Eleniak, from Baywatch) who successfully meets the film’s chauvinistic quota of both nudity and dumbness.

Director Andrew Davis would hone his more political muscles a year later on The Fugitive, but thankfully he lets Seagal’s muscles take centre stage here. It’s a perfect vehicle for the actor’s steely wisdom, violent chops and limited vocabulary. Endearingly, he takes the film quite seriously, especially compared to Jones and Gary Busey who both seem to be having a great time.

Like the best and most dated action films, the line between being so-bad-it’s-good and genuinely exciting is a blurry one. But it’s bullshit at its best, and Seagal has been chasing this dream ever since.

Warrior

(2011, US, Mimran Schur Pictures/Filmtribe/Solaris Entertainment)

Dir. Gavin O’Connor; Pro. Gavin O’Connor, Greg O’Connor; Scr. Gavin O’Connor, Cliff Dorfman, Anthony Tambakis; Action Dir. J.J. Perry; Cast Tom Hardy, Joel Edgerton, Jennifer Morrison, Frank Grillo, Nick Nolte.

140 min.

Supercharged, highly emotive sports movie which makes the logical transition from Darren Aronofsky’s reflective downbeat sucker-punch portrayal of wrestling in The Wrestler (2008), via David O. Russell’s boxing drama The Fighter (2010) to the brutal ground and pound of mixed martial arts. But to cast Warrior as merely a bandwagon jumper does the film an immeasurable disservice. Sure, every sporting cliche is here, from Rocky‘s small town ambition to Raging Bull‘s complicated family ties, before the film reaches a contrived and predictable conclusion. But the film rests on superb performances and a core of convincing characters each battling with a divisive balance of loyalty, pride and responsibility. The MMA tournament which takes up the majority of the final act is utterly compelling, offering both an insight into what motivates the men choosing to engage in extreme full contact cage fighting and the impact their decisions have on those closest to them.

The central drama revolves around a former alcoholic and abusive father, played by Nick Nolte, who cleans up too late to build bridges with his two estranged combative sons. One, played by Joel Edgerton, is a physics teacher and family man who is forced back into the ring due to spiraling debts. The other son is more complex. Played brilliantly by Tom Hardy, he returns to his home town of Pittsburgh after running out on the US Marines, choosing his father to coach him for the upcoming SPARTA tournament – billed as the Superbowl of MMA – but stubbornly refusing to accept his fathers apologies. The two brothers end up in the same competition, so it’s pretty obvious where the film is heading. But it is manipulative enough to get caught up in the emotion, and as an exercise in humanising the brutal sport of mixed martial arts it works very well.

Three the Hard Way

(1974, US, Allied Artists Pictures Co.)

Dir. Gordon Parks Jr.; Pro. Harry Bernsen; Scr. Eric Bercovici, Jerrold L. Ludwig; Cast Jim Brown, Fred Williamson, Jim Kelly, Sheila Frazier, Jay Robinson, Charles McGregor, Howard Platt.

89 min.

A good ploy for blaxploitation fans: not one, not two, but three action heroes all in the same picture, which is fantastic news, but it does suggest a rather tired ploy for a short lived sub-genre. A white supremacy group kidnap Brown’s woman and plan to spike the nation’s water supply with a red liquid that will kill all the black folk (the whites will somehow be spared). That cock and bull story is supported by hoards of gratuitous gunfights, car chases, explosions and the odd bit of kung fu from Jim Kelly.

One Down, Two to Go

(1982, US, Camelot Films/Po’ Boy Productions)

Dir. Fred Williamson; Pro. Fred Williamson; Scr. Fred Williamson; Action Dir. Cesar Bujosa; Cast Fred Williamson, Jim Brown, Jim Kelly, Richard Roundtree, Paula Sills, Laura Loftus.

86 min.

Another weary blaxploitation reunion released long after the sub-genre’s heyday, this stars a quartet of overweight and underpaid former action heroes who get to shoot their big guns one last time at a slimy group of honkies who rig a karate tournament. Black Belt Jones is shot in the process, leaving it to Black Gunn and That Man Bolt to investigate with Shaft popping in occasionally for coffee. Jim Kelly’s Bruce Lee chops are criminally underused so it is left to Williamson and Brown to run the show. At least the aging actors appear to be having fun reviving their stereotypes (the trio last assembled eight years previously for Three the Hard Way) which almost excuses a lot of the film’s more questionable elements.

Parker

(2013, US, Incentive Filmed Entertainment/Sierra Pictures/Sidney Kimmel Entertainment)

Dir. Taylor Hackford; Pro. Les Alexander, Steven Chasman, Taylor Hackford, Sidney Kimmel, Jonathan Mitchell; Scr. John J. McLaughlin; Cast Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Michael Chiklis, Wendell Pierce, Clifton Collins Jr., Emma Booth, Nick Nolte, Daniel Bernhardt.

118 min.

Standard Statham head cracker bolstered by a decent cast and a steady pulse. He plays Parker, a crim’ with a conscience who will shoot a guy in the kneecaps and then call for an ambulance. When a crack team of hastily assembled thieves double cross him after a bank heist in Texas, he’s shot and left for dead. But Parker survives, jetting to Florida to seek revenge and thwarting the team’s next target – a jewellery auction worth several million. Parker’s morals extend to his long suffering girlfriend, as he somehow resists the rather obvious charms of real estate agent JLo who ends up assisting him on his rampage. Nick Nolte also appears as a well connected father in law – an old time crook with vague mafia connections who talks like he’s passing a kidney stone. The brief violence is consistent with The Stath’s visceral track record; the most punishing being a knife brawl with Daniel Berhardt in a Palm Beach mansion in which the pugilists smash through every conceivable interior hazard in a matter of minutes. Statham’s grizzled charm carries the film and further highlights the Brit’s acceptance from the mainstream Hollywood machine.

Robin-B-Hood

(2006, HK, Emperor Motion Pictures/JCE Movies Ltd.)

Dir. Benny Chan Muk-sing; Pro. Benny Chan Muk-sing, Jackie Chan, Willie Chan Chi-keung, Solon So Chi-hung, Wang Zhong-lei; Scr. Benny Chan Muk-sing, Jackie Chan, Alan Yuen Kam-lun; Action Dir. Jackie Chan, Nicky Li Chung-chi; Cast Jackie Chan, Louis Koo Tin-lok, Michael Hui Kun-man, Gao Yuan-yuan, Charlene Choi Cheuk-yin, Conroy Chan Chi-chung, Yuen Biao.

136 min.

Benny Chan’s third Jackie Chan film – following Who Am I? and New Police Story – sees Chan play against type (sort of) as one half of a bumbling burglar routine with Louis Koo. Chan’s a gambling addict with an estranged father and Koo’s a philanderer with a pregnant wife. But the pair learn to take responsibility for their actions when they kidnap a baby from a wealthy HK family at the behest a warped billionaire who believes himself to be the child’s biological grandfather. At this point the film turns into a version of Three Men and a Baby as the buffoonish thieves harbour the toddler for a week, learning how to change nappies and prepare meals whilst visiting antenatal clinics. The ensuing slapstick is almost excusable but still a case for social services, as Chan and Koo smother the baby with pillows, put the toddler in a washing machine, drop him from a Ferris Wheel and attach his pram to a speeding truck. Just as the two discover their more tender side the kid is locked in a giant freezer.

For the most part, though, the gags are good, and Jackie can do hilarious physical comedy with his eyes closed. A particular highlight is a classic French farce involving mistaken identities all located within Chan’s cramped apartment, much like that classic sequence in Project A Part II. Among the great cast is Yuen Biao, playing an understated cop in his first collaboration with Jackie Chan since 1988’s Dragons Forever. The film lulls during the more compassionate scenes, layering sentiment on with a saccharine Cantopop trowel, but Benny Chan can handle big vistas of expensive action without suffocating the intricacies of Jackie Chan’s choreography, and the two are a good match.

AKA: Project BB; Rob-B-Hood

The Tattoo Connection

(1978, HK, First Films)

Dir. Lee Tso-nam; Pro. H. Wong; Scr. Cheung San-yee, Luk Pak-sang; Action Dir. Bruce Leung Siu-lung; Cast Jim Kelly, Dorian Tan Tao-liang, Chan Sing, Kong Do, Cheng Fu-hung, Bolo Yeung, Lee Hoi-san.

89 min.

Considered a sore spot on the respective careers of all involved (Jim Kelly was simply wasted after Enter the Dragon and you will find it hard to fathom how the director of Eagle’s Claw could stoop this low), The Tattoo Connection is a Z grade exploitation quickie armed with the IQ of a walnut.

Funk music accompanies a nonsense script, loads of kung fu action and a host of naked breasts. That’s a strong cocktail for any film fan, but at least it’s hugely comic for irony’s sake.

Kelly is sent from the States to investigate a diamond racket on the streets of Hong Kong, only to find flash bastard Chan Sing pimping hos and Dorian Tan kicking people in the head.

Chen’s entourage consists of a gang of familiar Chinese players (even Bolo’s in there) which certainly makes the film watchable, and the kung fu isn’t bad. The brief scuffle between Kelly and Tan is probably the best of the bunch.

You could argue this is a fine example of the East meets West culture clash highlighting society’s ills whilst tackling some uncompromising truths without flinching or thinking. But then it might also just be a cheap and hideous turd of a film. You decide.

AKA: Black Belt Jones 2

Death Dimension

(1978, US, Spectacular Film Productions)

Dir. Al Adamson; Pro. Harry Hope; Scr. Harry Hope; Cast Jim Kelly, Harold Sakata, George Lazenby, Terry Moore, Aldo Ray.

90 min.

Perhaps if Jim Kelly hadn’t taken so many bad decisions then maybe his action movie career may have progressed further into the 1980s and the era of the big guns. Kelly certainly had the right attitude, the good looks and the martial arts skills to make him a big star. If he had successfully avoided no brain turkeys like this one, then maybe his story would have been very different indeed.

As usual he makes the best out of a bad situation, playing a police detective alongside a Bruce Lee wannabe who travels to Los Angeles to bring to justice a heartless pimp called The Pig (played by Odd Job) who plans to sell a weather control device to terrorists, or something. The instructions for the device are bizarrely kept on a microchip embedded in the head of its creator’s student, who is kidnapped by the bad guy in an attempt to prompt a lashing from Kelly’s kung fu chops.

Adamson directs with all the excitement of a hernia. He drives this laborious chore at such an incredibly slow pace it is no wonder why so many of the cast are falling asleep. And quite what George Lazenby is doing in this is anybody’s guess.

Available in all bargain bins.

AKA: Black Eliminator; Freeze Bomb; Icy Death; The Kill Factor